Posts Tagged ‘Matthew Maxim’

Matthew Maxim #11:

Hate Failure, But Never Fear It

I know, I know… a blog / website is supposed to tout how awesome its author is, but I’m here to tell you plainly: I have failed.

Many times in my life I’ve attempted something, only to have it Hindenburg on me. I’ll spare you the entire list, but it runs the gamut, from professional (an attempt to syndicate a TV series) to personal (pick pretty much any home improvement project I’ve undertaken).

I give you this backstory to let you know where I’m coming from. I don’t speak to you from on high as some kind of guru. The above phrase was born from both the pain of making mistakes and the even greater pain of not risking making mistakes.

I think we can agree that when you fear something, you give it power, right? And we can agree that when we attempt anything, we want to win, not lose. We don’t want to lose money, time, and we especially don’t want to lose face. And here we start to get at the underlying quandary — to potentially win, we must risk failing, and to risk failure is to risk looking foolish. And thus the stage is set for Fear’s big entrance.

I’ve been on both sides of the ‘hate failure / fear failure’ equation and there’s a world of difference between the two.

When we fear failure, we hesitate, second-guess ourselves, play a circular game of ‘what if’ while never really accomplishing anything. When we fear failure, we become tourists in our own lives. When we fear failure– set phasers for ‘irony’– we end up failing by default.

However…

When we hate failure, we work harder, longer, smarter. We take– not wild– but calculated risks. If we win, great. If we lose, we make sure to also learn. We stand back up, determine what should have been done differently, then plan accordingly.

Please hear me clearly; this maxim is not some glib yearbook entry. Failing sucks. It hurts. It’s not something you just immediately get over. But fear of failure is so much more insidious.

Fear doesn’t hurt, it numbs.

Fear won’t lead to anyone disagreeing or getting mad with you, because fear will make you invisible.

Fearing failure will ensure you don’t leave behind any evidence that you were ever here.

Years ago, I saw visited Epcot and saw a U2 tribute band perform. At one point in the show, the Fake Bono invited a little girl– probably 12 years-old– onstage to dance around with him. Immediately, she started dancing her little girl dance. It wasn’t a showy look-at-me thing. She just started dancing as if there was no one else around. At that age, she should have been at least somewhat self-conscious; she wasn’t and it was absolutely amazing to behold.

How many hours, days, years have I wasted fearing failure instead of hating failure?

How many opportunities have I not capitalized on because I was concerned about what people might think if I swung and missed?

How many times have I been worrying when I should have been dancing?



- Matthew Porter

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A few weeks ago, I shared with you a maxim I’ve found to be true, useful, and readily applicable:

“I will take ‘no’ for answer; I won’t take ‘no answer’ for an answer.”

In that post, I cited a prospective Client who showed interest in hiring me as a creative consultant, but then went off the grid:

“(I had) a conversation with a successful business owner back in December. This CEO was interested in possibly hiring me as a creative consultant to help form and lead an in-house marketing team. I’ve consistently followed up with him this year and yet, no returned call.”

“Re: the CEO who needs creative help… still no response. I have a strong feeling his answer will eventually be a ‘no’ or ‘not right now.’ But what if it isn’t? What if he’s been too busy? What if– like a lot of people I eventually get in touch with– he says ‘thank you so much for your persistence. I’ve just been swamped lately’ ? What if I stop following up and in so doing– to use a metaphor from success guru Zig Ziglar– I stop pumping the handle just a few seconds before the water would have started flowing?”

Well, guess what? He called back.

In all, I’ve probably made at least thirty follow up calls, sometimes leaving a message with a secretary, sometimes leaving a voicemail. That’s why when I realized who was calling, I braced myself for something along the lines of ‘STOP CALLING ME!’

But instead of getting an earful, I got an offer.

So, how many follow-ups until you get a ‘yes’ (or at least an answer)? How many pumps until the water flows?

Maybe just one more.

- Matthew Porter

PS: I promised JK and everybody else an article this week on How To Become A Freelance Writer. However, I’m going to do even better: a comprehensive multi-part series I’ll publish throughout next week here at Hey Porter!. Don’t miss it!

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